The Proposal

Now this is a story that I've been wanting to post for a while now and I want to have written it down so that I don't forget all the fun details when Eliza and I are old and gray.  I've been writing this over the past few months off and on and today while I wait for my flight back home to Vancouver I thought it fitting to finish this story of Eliza and I's proposal because it was an integral part of my adventure in Asia.  So here we go!

Lets start by rewinding the time back to July 2010. I had been in Taiwan for about a month an a half and I was really hurting from being away from Eliza. Luckily I was getting used to the long distance and it wasn't nearly as hard as it was the first few weeks, though I was still missing Eliza a lot.

Johan had just met a new girl Rebecca and they had started dating. During this time the topic of girls and dating came up very frequently. My thoughts towards marriage had been distant from my mind for a while until the last bit before I was leaving for Taiwan when Eliza and I had seriously started discussing it as a possibility. However all this talk about dating and our futures and marriage kept surfacing with Johan and I think this repeated discussing about it and why marriage was the right move helped me make the final decision: telling my parents!

I wanted my parents to be a part of this discussion so one morning I called them up on Skype to tell them that I wanted to marry Eliza. I was a bit nervous to tell them but I was relieved after telling them and hearing how happy they were for me. Telling my parents really made it feel "real" and more than just something that I was tossing around my mind. It also let me ask them questions about their ideas on it and things to consider to double check that I had thought of everything before making this big step!

After all the discussions and incubation of the idea I knew it was the right decision and I made the next big step. The ring! Actually I guess it was the ring and WHEN i was going to propose. I recall that Johan and I were discussing where I could do it and the idea of asking Eliza in Japan came up. How cool!! I really liked the sound of proposing in Japan because of our shared Japanese heritage and also so that my parents could be there with us to share in the memory. I also wanted to propose while Eliza was visiting me in Asia so that she knew that I was 100% serious about us, despite me flying away and the uncertainties about my future career choices. I wanted at least something concrete to show her that I really loved her and want her to be my life co-pilot :)

So now that the place was decided I knew I would need a ring. Every time I went to the mall or up to Taipei I would browse the rings to see what kind of prices I was looking at and how much money would get me what kind of ring. Peggy (Johan's sister) knows a lot about rings too so we discussed my different options and prices and online stores to check. We also knew that buying a ring in Taiwan would be cheaper than Canada so that was another advantage to ring shopping in Taiwan.

There were so many rings and so many different prices and little stores I didn't really know where to start looking. Fortunately Gugu (Ali's mom) had a long time friend who was a jeweler and is where she got all of her jewelry over the last 20 years. She arranged a meeting and they drove me to the little Jewelry store in the heart of Taoyuan city. Ali, Niki, and Ali's Dad also joined us. We looked through the glass display case and picked out a handful of rings that we thought looked interesting. I was able to look at the prices and I had Niki's finger to try the rings on to see what looked good. I think we weren't there very long before we saw a design we really liked. The jeweler was able to give me 50% off of the price tag so I was extremely happy.

We left the store with two rings and diamonds in mind and over the next week I mulled it over and after sending some photos of the ring to my parents and discussing, I knew which one I wanted!

In the meantime, I had secretly called Eliza's book club friend Shannon to do some sneaky spy work for me. I needed Eliza's ring size so I tasked her with the mission of finding out Eliza's ring size! At this point I hadn't told anyone I was thinking about marriage except for my parents and Johan's family so it was kind of exciting telling one of her friends, and Shannon got really excited when I told her the news. She was ecstatic and told me she would get to work ASAP and would have a result back by the time I got back from my mini trip to Hong Kong.

When I arrived back from Hong Kong a week later we went back to the Jeweler to choose the ring and the diamond. The ring/diamond combo I wanted they didn't have, so the jeweler made the ring custom for me based on my requests. I didn't have to pay anything until I picked up the ring too which was convenient.

Once I picked the ring I got in touch with Shannon and she said she casually had Eliza try on some rings borrowed from their mutual friend Lisa, and then had the ring brought to the jeweler in Canada to find out the size. She told me the ring size and I relayed it to Niki, who then told Gugu, who then told the jeweler and we had the ring made.

This whole time I didn't say a word to Eliza but a few times she would tease me over Skype pointing at her ring finger teasing and complaining that there was nothing on it. It was so hard not to spill the beans but I knew the surprise would be well worth it :D

A few days passed and then I found out the ring was done and Gugu's friend was going to deliver it to our house in Cingpu! In the afternoon we got a buzz from the front desk and we went to the front to meet Gugu's friend who had brought a little bag with the ring box in it. We opened it up and I was so happy with it! I knew Eliza would like it and I was really excited to give it to her :D

A week later my parents came to Taiwan. I toured them around and sooner than later a week had passed and we were off to Japan! I was paranoid about losing the ring in Japan during our travels so I put it in a little bag and stuffed it into my money belt that I wore everywhere.

Prior to leaving for Japan I had been researching places to propose in Japan. Since I'd never been there I was a bit nervous about the actual proposal because I wanted somewhere romantic and where we had space to ourselves, yet I'd never been anywhere we were going so you can imagine that would stress a guy out a little bit! Additionally I hadn't called Eliza's dad yet to ask for his permission!

Eliza arrived on the first of October and based on my internet research I had a few places in mind for proposing: Kyoto Kiyomizudera Temple, the Silver Temple in Kyoto, and somewhere in Nikko.

Only a few days after Eliza arrived we ended up in Kyoto heading to Kiyomizudera. I started getting a little nervous and trying to figure out how I'd propose. Unfortunately when we got there the place was packed full of school kids! The place was nice and everything being a temple nestled in the mountainside overlooking Kyoto, but it wasn't what I had envisioned for my proposal. So we left Kiyomizudera not engaged, but I was happy about my decision not to rush it because I knew I'd find a better place that suited my vision of my proposal.

Ok so Kyoto was near the start of my trip, and I ended up waiting until nearly the very end of our trip to propose in Nikko! We were staying at a fancy ryokan (traditional Japanese hotel/hot spring) in a small town named Kosagoe, located close to Nikko and this being one of my last chances for a romantic setting, I knew when we arrived that this would be the spot!

Upon our arrival at the ryokan we dropped off our bags and checked in to our beautiful rooms. It was the biggest room we had stayed in yet complete with: front little entrance way, bathroom, tatami room with a little tea table and chairs, another sink area with two chairs and a small table (separated from the tatami room by a rice paper sliding door), and a balcony overlooking the tree covered hills and a river. I kept looking at Eliza, excited that I knew I would be creating a big milestone in both of our lives! I always wondered what it would be like for a person on the day of their proposal and now I knew what it felt like: it felt a bit nerve wrecking, but great!

After the initial scout of the room we headed out for a walk around the small town and found a Japanese restaurant named Gasuto (like a Denny's) relatively close by for which we just stopped in and had a plate of different cakes to share. It was nice not having planned anything for the day and we could just take our time and enjoy one of our last days in Japan.

After the cake we walked back to the ryokan and messed about on their neat fitness room equipment. There was a mechanical bull type machine and a machine where it literally just vibrates you at a high frequency and makes you feel all numb. We were really just buying time before our fancy traditional Japanese diner which came next on our itinerary.

The meal was a delicious mix of different types of traditional Japanese food. There was sashimi, miso soup, tempura, salted fish, rice, yuba, a salad, green tea, and I think some other stuff I can't think of at the moment :) It was all oishi!

After diner we went back to our rooms and changed into the traditional Japanese robes (yukatas) that were provided for us. These robes are so comfy and fun to walk around in! We knocked on my parents door and saw that they too had dressed into their robes. We took the opportunity for a fashion photo shoot and got some really great family pictures in different funny poses all dressed up.

After the photo shoot Eliza and I went back to the room, but I snuck back out to visit my parents and to get the ring box from my mom. I had her carry the empty box the whole trip because I didn't want Eliza to accidentally find it in my luggage. My mom and dad got super excited and we had a nice little family moment of hugging and congrats. It was really special for me to be able to share this life changing milestone with my parents and I was really happy they were there and had the chance to get to know Eliza during our travels.

I snuck back into the room and moved the ring from my money belt into the box and hid it under the top cover of my bag so that I could easily grab it without making too much noise.

I had booked the onsen (hot spring) at 9pm so I thought after some nice relaxation time we could come back to the room and I'd propose!

We went to the onsen as planned and while the water was extremely hot, we had a fun time :D

As we walked back to our room I started getting a bit nervous. Trying to think about how I would exactly propose. I'm usually not too bad about coming up with something on the spot based around some previously though up "points." But as we entered our room I really wasn't sure how I was gonna bring it up. The topic of "proposal" doesn't really just come up with something easy from which to segue into. Thinking in your head that you will propose and then actually thinking of exactly what you will say and how you will propose is a completely different thing.

I was starting to get a bit nervous because it's not really easy to be sneaky in a small room. Eliza asked if I wanted some green tea and that sounded nice so she grabbed the kettle and started plugging it in against the wall. I quickly walked to my bag and took the ring box out and tried to conceal it by hiding it behind my back. Eliza kept asking why I was sneaking around and I really didn't have an answer. I just mumbled something out that probably didn't make much sense. You know I never really pictured it being difficult to ask someone to marry you, but you can't really just say outta the blue "hey umm.... marry me?" you really need to wait for the right moment to bring it up, otherwise it really sounds out of context and... definitely not romantic.

Then THANKFULLY Eliza mentioned that this trip or "adventure" had been great and I knew as soon as she said that it was now or never (not really never but that wording sounds more dramatic)! Her back was turned away from me as she was unplugging the steaming kettle I started to approach her and said agreeingly, "Yea definitely this has been an amazing adventure. I'd really love to have many more adventures with you." Still with her back turned to me she said, "Definitely! I'd like more adventures with you too." and as she said that she turned around to face me and I was standing there holding the little red ring box in my two hands in front of me. She looked at me, then down to the ring box, then back at me and she started to get a crazy happy excited look in her eyes. I got down on one knee in my yutaka, looked up at the love of my life, lifted the ring box and opened it saying, "Eliza Yodogawa, will you marry me?"

She had the craziest excited face I'd ever seen on her. I loved it! It was a mix of disbelief, excitement, happiness, and surprise. A face I will remember forever :D

She gave me a huge hug while I was still down on one knee and then she looked me in the eyes and say, "Yes! I would love to marry you!" I took the ring out of the box and gave it to her to wear. It was a little bit big but at least it wasn't too small! I was a bit worried it was too small and it wouldn't fit on her hand (that would be embarrassing) but it fit alright.

The rest of the night felt magical and I couldn't really believe we were engaged. As promised, tea was served and we sat on the tatami room floor at the little table drinking the nice hot green tea and I told her about how I had been carrying the ring around and how long I had been thinking about it and basically everything in this story that you have read up until now was kept secret to her (obviously!) so it was fun explaining all the details and all the work and different people who had been involved in the ordeal!

The next morning we knocked on my parents door because we had planned to all go for breakfast together. My parents came out wearing their yutakas (we were in ours too). Eliza showed them the ring and there was a round of hugs in the ryokan hallway :) From there we went downstairs for a delicious traditional style breakfast.

We needed to check out before noon but I had been really wanting to call Eliza's Dad to officially ask his permission for his daughters hand in marriage. I wanted to do this before asking Eliza, but being together almost 100% of the time in Japan with dodgy internet connection made it basically impossible to call him! I had been getting stressed about calling while keeping things a secret from Eliza so I decided it would be much easier to call after I asked Eliza so I wouldn't have to be sneaking around and stressing about it (plus if she said "no" then I wouldn't have to ask her dad. j/k!!)

The ryokan had wireless in their fitness room so this is where I went to make the call. It was a bit weird calling her parents in this big open area where anyone could just walk in and hear our conversation, but luckily it was the morning and no one was exercising. I rang up Eliza's parents and her mom answered the phone, "Hello?" "Hello!" I said. We chatted for a bit and then I asked if Mr. Yodogawa was around. Unfortunately he wasn't! Crap he'd just stepped out to the hardware store so I would have to call back again in 20 minutes or so. I'm thinking Mrs. Yodogawa was probably wondering why I wanted to talk to Eliza's dad. I was nervous making the call and this hadn't helped matters.

I went back upstairs into the room and chatted with Eliza for the next 20 minutes and then headed back down to call her Dad back. I don't know why but my palms were sweating while dialing the number. It's a bit weird because I know Eliza already said yes, and I was pretty sure Eliza's Dad was gonna say yes, yet I still felt a lot of anxiety. Not the type of phone call you make everyday.

The phone started ringing and Eliza's mom picked up the phone again. I thought maybe Mr.Yodogawa was still out and I'd have to awkwardly tell her I'd call back. I asked if he was around and thankfully he was! He said hello on the phone and after maybe only 10 seconds of chit chat I got straight to the point. I said, "Mr.Yodogawa, your daughter Eliza means the world to me. I love her more than anyone. While this is something I always imagined asking you in person, I would like to ask for your daughter Eliza's hand in marriage."

"Oooooh! Yes! Congratulations!" He announced loudly :) "Oh Alma's crying now she's so happy." It felt great asking her family and telling them how much I loved their daughter. And just like that all my anxiety was gone, and everything that needed to be done to get Eliza to marry me was finished! It had been a bit stressful, but mostly it had been really fun asking the girl of my dreams to marry me. After reading these 3300+ words about asking your girl to marry you maybe seems like a lot of work, but perhaps that's part of the fun and satisfaction of getting the “yes” that you want :)

So now we just have to actually GET married! The wedding is booked for January 29th, 2011. Wish us luck!